It has been so long since I last sat down to write I think I might have forgotten how to go about it. I’ll just go with a stream of consciousness….
Where to start…how about nursing school. Yep, that’s right, folks…I’m applying for nursing school this semester. I was thinking of waiting until the Fall semester to apply (for admittance for Spring 2013), but I think I’ll just go for it now and see what happens. The program for which I am applying is not an easy program to weasel into these days, but I am confident I will eventually be accepted.
What about Kenya, you ask?!
For now it’s on hold. It could be on hold forever; I just don’t know. I know God is going to use me no matter where I reside, and He has already shown me many reasons why being back in the States right now is where I need to be. I had some adventures when I left Kenya, and they definitely changed my life for the good.
God is funny and definitely not easy to understand. Really…why would He be easy to understand?! I can’t wrap my mind around saran wrap let alone the creator of the Universe.
I left Kenya and traveled to Israel for a few weeks. It was an amazing time in my life! What a joy it was to explore such a controversial and historical land; to be able to connect to scripture in a new and deeper way was a treasure. I wandered the streets of Jerusalem (I might have gotten lost..but I’ll never admit to it), and experienced the Dead Sea. I explored several of King Herod’s palaces, and saw the sun set over the Sea of Galilee. I went hiking in the desert, and ate a lot of hummus and pita bread. I also had the pleasure of meeting the sweetest man I have ever had the privilege to know. I think we both had hoped for a long-term commitment to be the result of our knowing each other, but God has other plans for us. I never rule out what God can do in the future, but I know I can’t dwell on the unknown.
So where do I stand in the grand scheme of things called life?
- I am officially a college student…again.
- I am single…again.
- I am gainfully employed through more than one job…again.
- I am covered by God’s mercy and grace…again…although I never was not covered, and isn’t that something in which we can all rejoice?!
Life is hard at times, and at other times it doesn’t appear to be so hard. Right now, I can’t turn around without seeing suffering. My sweet friends, my family, are suffering, but the truly incredible reality is God is moving in each of their lives. He is moving in glorious ways! Long time prayers are being answered despite the chaos that seems to have taken over. God is working in the lives of those dearest to my heart! It is such a joy to see each one of them draw near to the Lord in ways they never have before, although it breaks my heart to see them suffer. Yet, what about me? Am I drawing near to the Lord? For a long while I have felt my prayer life had been stagnate. I pray. I pray all the time. I pray even when I don’t necessary set out to pray, yet I find myself talking to Him while I’m washing the dishes…or driving down the road…or when I should be studying. But it hasn’t been thoughtful prayer.
I like to write my prayers out; I find when I write them out they tend to be more focused AND I am able to look back at what God has done. I haven’t been doing that for a long while. I scrounged up a notebook not long ago and started back to keeping a prayer journal. So while my prayers seem to be more focused, and I know I’m realigning myself to be where I should be with God, I can’t say I understand any better what exactly He is up to right now.
I don’t want to look forward to this part of my life to be over. I want to savor it. I want to savor this time I’m back in school, and this time I have had to minister to those around me who have been suffering. I think all too often I dismiss the present and look forward to the next season God has in store for me. However, when I do that I miss out on the season He has me. He has me here for a specific reason: to bring glory to Himself. Whom am I to look forward to its end?
So, I shall leave you with the words of Job. From the midst of his suffering Job says, “For I know my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth.” 19:25
Our Redeemer lives. No matter the circumstance…our Redeemer lives, and at the last he WILL stand upon the earth! So, please pray with me and for me. I covet your prayers, and please let me know how I can be praying for you!