trying to decipher god’s will and other unwise moves…

“When you let go and let God…”

“When one door closes He opens another…”

“Trying out the bark collar to see what it feels like for your dog…”

No, really…my bro tried out the bark collar once just to see what it felt like for the dog. Thankfully he hesitated about placing the collar around his neck and opted for the arm, instead. Regardless, the outcome was the same: pain.

Isn’t that true when we fight so hard to decipher God’s will for our lives? We end up in pain? I must come to the same realization a hundred times in a week: I don’t understand God and His will, and yet I can’t seem to ever stop trying just the same.

David Platt once gave a sermon on God’s will, and it really has stuck with me for a while now…not that I seem to always apply it to my life…

He taught on the idea of God not having a specific will for each of us, but rather He gives us the opportunity to be a part of His will for humanity. This shifts the focus away from “us” and back to God. God…what is Your will for ME….what do you want ME to do…please help ME to know how to serve You….blah blah blah…

I do this all the time. Well, I did this all the time. I’m improving. Many thanks to the Lord for this and every other thing about my life!

Ok, so where am I going with all of this? Well, Platt also said something else that really flipped a switch for me…

He said, and I paraphrase, that so many times we look for signs and closed/opened doors as confirmation of God’s will when some times God is saying, “Are you going to be faithful? Are you going to persevere? Are you going to give up? OR are you going to trust where I first led you and be persistent despite the roadblocks?”

This thought definitely ran through my mind not too long ago, and resonated with my heart in a very tangible way. I thought there was no hope. I thought there were closed doors. I thought…I thought…and then I stopped thinking and started to remember all that God had done. Started to speak truth to myself of how God has changed me in the last several months, and what He has used as the primary tool of sanctification: my relationship with E. And I knew I had to persevere.

No relationship is perfect, especially when dealing with imperfect people, and I have heard it said over and over again that you can’t choose who you love. Well, I think that is total hogwash. We choose who/what we love and how we show that love. For instance, look at our relationship with God. We don’t have fuzzy feelings drawing us to Him…He first chooses us and then we are able to come to Him. BUT our flesh fights against any love we might have for Him. He gives us the ability to consciously choose to die to ourselves and love Him every moment of every day. Are we always successful at loving God? You better answer no…cause you and I both sin every day in some way. Our sin is a direct reflection of our flesh not wanting to love God. Again, we are to pursue holiness, we don’t have to obtain it. We never will obtain it until we are with Him in eternity. That’s for another post…

My point: I found myself choosing to love me more than E. My mistake. I thank God for giving me a second opportunity at loving E as Christ loves E. I can only be successful if God gives me the grace to love E, and, for God to give me the grace to love E, I must ask for it every day. It’s the same with loving God. The only way we can be successful at loving God is if He gives us the grace to do so, but we must first ask for said grace.

The restorative power of His love and grace is absolutely incredible. I’m so very thankful for it. I’m so very thankful for E. I’m also excited to see how God continues to mold both E and I as we draw nearer to Him and to each other. I’m also thankful for David Platt helping me to understand that I will never understand God’s will for my life until I surrender my desire for a specific will and participate in His will for humanity…and for realizing sometimes you have to overcome the obstacles that seem like closed doors by being persistent and trusting what you know to be true instead of assuming because it is hard.

Does God give us marriage so we can understand more what it means to be His bride? Hmmm….perhaps the topic of a possible series? We’ll see….I should probably ask E before venturing out into what could be the most transparent things I could ever write.

To correct my previous post: I am definitely not single, but happily pursing and being pursed by a most precious gift from God: my sweet E.

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Filed under Faith, Marriage, Relationships

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