kasarani on october 30th…

Went to Kasarani today to visit Pastor Charles, who runs an orphan feeding program. Pastor Charles is a Moffat graduate, and is program is funded through Moffat. Through his connection with Moffat, he is able to feed 75 children one meal a day, currently. Most, if not all, of the children only receive one meal – the lunchtime meal from provided by PC. There are at least 200 more children waiting to be a part of the program, that he KNOWS of…

These children need a home. These children need food. Water. Love. Clothing. Hope. JESUS!

I didn’t want to leave. I just wanted to spend the rest of the day with the kids. Loving them. Holding them. Telling them they are special. They are loved. They are wanted.

I wanted to take them all home with me. Provide them with all their needs. I want to help. I want to be a part of their lives. I want to do more than just give some organization some money so that I can say I did my part. Don’t get me wrong…that is vital to the survival of many of the needy children in the world, but it isn’t enough for me. I wasn’t called to just drop a coin in a plate so that someone else could sweat it out in the field..no…I was called to go…NO….I was CHOSEN to go. God called me. God chose me. I don’t know why, but He did. I’m ready to obey.

What does that mean? I dunno….

In my mind I have visions of complete sacrifice of all my dreams…tradition home, husband, garden, Friday night date nights with a babysitter watching the kids, holiday dinners at home with my parents, impromptu family gatherings to play games or go bowling….singing…recording…art….

I have visions of living in a village with a house full of children who don’t resemble me in the least. I have visions of living in a village that would be seen in a “save the children” tv commercial. I have visions of loving the unloved. I have visions of going to bed at night with sweet children tucked away and sporting a full belly and warm heart. I have visions of lying in bed at night…alone….

I have these visions in my mind, and while some bring me joy…others…sorrow. Perhaps for a season.

But, then again…I don’t know what God has in store for me. I don’t know what it is that He is truly calling me to do…love the unloved. Yes. I got that, and for the immediate future I will do just that in Sekenani. I will teach music, and love the children there. However, I know that the children in Kasarani will not be far from my mind and heart.

It’s only day five and already God is breaking my heart…but if I were brutally honest…He broke it a long time ago….

Dad said something that has stayed with me since I heard it…I paraphrase, “Lori is supposed to be here. I’ve known this for two years. She’s tried to be anything and everything but a missionary, but no matter how hard she tries to run she just can’t escape God’s call.”

I don’t know if missionary is the correct term…I think it’s more like Christian.


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