Well, the last week has been pret-tay busy, and I would be fibbing if I said I wasn’t tired. Although, underneath the sore and sleepy body is a great feeling of accomplishment, and it wasn’t by my own strength…only by the grace of God have I been able to do all that I’ve done this week and weekend. I have to send a huge thanks to my daddy; I really put him through a lot this week. More than I should have, I admit. So what happened this week, you ask? Let me tell you…
This past weekend I had planned to have a rummage sale at my home church, Southway Community Church, in Pearland. It is a great location, and I thought it would provide me with lots of buyers! I was right! So, for the last week I’ve been gathering things and cleaning out things and accepting donations for this rummage sale. At first I thought I really didn’t have much to sell, and then we started to price it and pack it up…uhhhh….woah! Two full trailer loads, a full pickup, a full jeep, and a full mini cooper (I know…not much room in there, but I had it full!!!) and we had a nice rummage sale!
I had some help from SBM, my mom, my sister-in-law, N, and my sweet nephews and niece. My V pal was out selling as well, and we both did very well. The Lord truly blessed us in our endeavor. I had a goal, a very hefty goal, that I needed to reach. I have quite a lot that I need to pay for before I leave that is essential to my leaving in the best possible frame of mind. The Lord blessed me greatly and supplied more than half of that goal from one day’s worth of selling. I still have enough “stuff” to have another yard sale in October. I was also told today that a friend from church has some really nice things to donate to my next yard sale. Praise God!!!
The last several months have been filled with doubt and anxiety. These things come from Satan. I’m in a battle with him, but what I wasn’t owning is that the battle is already won! Christ defeated Satan when He died on the cross, and I have been sealed by the Holy Spirit to be a part of the body of Christ. The only way I am defeated in this battle is if I allow Satan to defeat me….but I have been given the power to overcome; I only need to own that every moment of every day.
The struggle for me is that at this moment in my life, and I’m realizing for the rest of my life, I don’t feel any “security”. Working in the ministry I have no guarantees about where my next dollar is coming from, and so I truly have to trust that God will provide all my needs every moment of every day. Gas, food, medical care, toiletries, basic living needs, etc…I have been living on the grace of God, but haven’t I always been there?
I had a conversation many moons ago with a non-believer that has haunted me, I suppose. We discussed our differences in priorities. His priority is to make money, and everything else comes second. He wanted a mate whose main priority was making money, as well. This really hurt me because of how much I cared for them. How much I gave them of myself, and I was rejected because I didn’t fundamentally love money. One of the things he said to me was, and I paraphrase, “Do you think you could live on love alone? No, it doesn’t pay the bills.” Well, he is right… “love” in the worldly sense does not pay the bills, but a Heavenly love sure does. I haven’t worked in three months, but God has supplied my needs, and in His time. Was it always the best timing according to the world’s standards? No, but it is according to God’s standards.
While this man trusts himself and the world to supply his needs, in the end he will be let down.
I will probably never have a “steady” job, if full-time missions is truly where God is leading me, but I don’t have to worry about how the needs will be supplied. Why is this concept blowing my mind!?!? As a Christian it shouldn’t be this mind boggling, but it is. Why? Because I haven’t owned my victory in the Lord. Satan is using my acceptance of mediocrity to his advantage, and deceiving me into believing that Jesus’ blood will fail me.
God took care of me this week and weekend, and He will continue to do so for as long as I breathe.
As for the “move” part in the title of this post, well, I am “officially” living back with my parents awaiting my departure for Kenya. Finally got most of my furniture to the rent’s place, and I’m sitting in my lovely room/mini apartment. It feels strange, and there are moments when I feel extreme sadness at the loss of having to move out of my little grandma house. It’s the end of so much, and I am finding more peace every day in the change.
This “life” that we are given…it’s not easy. Why should it be? Did not Jesus have trials and tribulations? So why wouldn’t we?
I can’t express how thankful I am at having gotten through the week and weekend. Now to recover for a day and then to tackle getting things in order. Still much to do, but I guess that’s why God hasn’t provided a job for me until I leave.
How to pray for me this week:
- Pray for continued physical and emotional endurance.
- Pray for enough support to come in this week so that I could purchase plane tickets ASAP!
- Pray for that God would continue to supply my financial needs while I’m in the States.
- Pray for individuals who would be moved to support me monthly while I am in Kenya.
- Continue to pray for reconciliation according to God’s will.
So, to sum it all up….good week and weekend, and it feels so good to have accomplished much according to the grace of God!