Took to the gravel today for the first time in months. Ran ok. Foot feels good in the new shoes, which I’m totally digging! I heart Brooks!
I realized that all the times before that I have sought to “get into shape” I did it for someone else. Today I ran for me. I didn’t push it beyond that which I needed to do, and at the end of the run I felt great. I kept my heart rate between 140-160 so as to maintain fat burn, and I enjoyed it. I haven’t enjoyed running in a long time. The feel of the wind on your face, the sweat running down your arms and back and face, your legs burning, and your chest at its max capacity! Felt great! Your mind free to wander…free to just think. No school. No work. No relationships. No nothing!
I don’t know what it is, but I suppose I have been so emotional for so long that now…well, now I don’t “feel” much. Maybe it’s because I have come to find great peace in many areas of my life. Maybe I finally have just let things go, so as to allow God to take control, and as a result I am relieved. Life doesn’t have to be “dramatic” or “upsetting” or “emotional” for there to be a life, to feel alive. Life can just be…it can be and still have it’s highs and lows, yet it can just be.
Acceptance that I don’t have a clue what’s going to happen next, and I’m ok with that, and reconciliation in relationships has truly brought a huge sense of relief to my soul.
I’m not talking to Him enough. I’m not reading enough, but I’m working towards it.
Another realization…I don’t know if I want to sing anymore. Truly..I don’t know that I want to sing. What do you make of that?