I chose poorly. I had a choice. To say the mean thing I wanted to say or say nothing at all and glorify God by resisting temptation. I said the mean thing. For a split second I felt like I had the upper hand. The upper hand? The upper hand in what? The other person doesn’t even know that one of us should have the upper hand! The other person doesn’t even care that I exist. So, why do I cling so tightly? Because I’m, on my own, hopeless. When I get the urge to do something I shouldn’t and I don’t immediately commit it to prayer and ask God for the strength to do what is right, I’m relying on my own strength…my own strength sucks. It’s nothing. I should apologize, but I really don’t want to apologize. I know that they don’t even care, but that’s not the point. The point isn’t whether or not they care, the point is that God cares. If I don’t apologize then that begins a separation between me and God. That separation only leads to more “me strength” and, ultimately, more sin.
Serious fail. I can be pretty lame…most of the time. I’m so tired of being a fool. When will it stop?